麻木

青少年时期，我娘多次问我，要不要带你去看心理医生
我说，好。
结果我娘却对我说，你都意识到意识到自己要去看心理医生了，所以你心理没有问题，所以就不用去看心理医生。
如果说我不要去看心理医生，那我娘就也不会带我去看心理医生
不管怎么样，我都不回去看心理医生。
昨日看电影的时候就想起了事情

Numb

What does it feel like when you get up struggling to prevent the line of reality from blurring into dreams that you just wake up from? You know perfectly well that the reality won't go anywhere but still can't you perceive it with your own sense. You know people are there but you just can not imagine they are the same person as you with personal consciousness. Things go wrong and you know it but you do not know what to do.

The movie makes a brave trial trying to define both what a anxiety disorder psychotics looks like in others' eyes and what he really feels. And I had to admit that the later part is gorgeously well-down. He brings me into his world, but it's probably due to me sharing similar experience rather than the movie being great.

The movie hints on many family influences shaping his character but must be missed by few for the sake of romance. The argument between his mother and him humorously reveals his childhood as loveless and careless, a void impeded him to seek comfort through his father(probably why his death was so feared) and , later, on Sara. But does not it seems strange for a girl as beautiful as Sara to fall in love with some doomed guy when they first met? Well, though the movie does not specifically point it out, I guess Sara experienced something similar that makes her longing for a companion who guard loyally and who would never leave. Such a desire is what she truly meant when she spoke of her ideal partners at the moment she fell in love with him. But she was, eventually, not in the same world as his and would move forward when she got what she wanted. Yeah, tears crept on her check at their last confrontation , few months after break-up. But I personally interpreted it only as a retrospective sign since those pearl-like tears were all she reacted.

This film does not deploy what Sara thought as much as it did with him, through which the film successfully isolates him from everyone including his better half who he loved the most. However, such isolation is delivering to watchers with a humorous air which some may find unrealistic and too optimistic. But what we should always keep in mind is that movie is an art piece and the real life characters cease to be real as soon as they enter it. We get what the producer trying to say and that's fine.

1.当然，是因为Chandler才看的这部电影。
之前看过他的9yards。
所以，关于这部电影的期待视野无法脱离F6的影子。
就想前面的同学说的，看见他就想笑。
事实上，部分情节和台词的确让F6迷们笑了出来。一些跟F6结合着来看会很好笑的地方。

2.但是基本上，我没有看到我以为会看到的，也没有看到我以为不会看到的。
这不是一部搞笑的喜剧，
有一些黑色幽默。
哈佛和康奈尔。
病人和医生。

3.马修的表演谈不上“精彩”——毕竟NUMB的状态并不容易出彩——但是值得尊敬。

故事的融入感很强，我的意思是，生活就是那样。
——It's weird that the life itself shocked me.

倒叙的结构，有质感的配乐。只是对人性刻画的深度还不够——不足以使其成为另一部《Rainman》。

值得收藏。

BTW，马修在电影中的鞋子，貌似是他本人的最爱。

要我说，很多人没看懂这部电影。或者说是没看到这部电影背后某个人的心，我猜那个人就是编剧哈里斯·古德伯格。我对此人一无所知，简单搜索后也发现并不是一个有名气的人，没有什么作品能让他脱颖而出。实际上，包括这一部，也并不是卖座的好电影。但是我为什么一定要给五星？
因为移情。我完全明白这部电影想要讲什么和它讲出了什么。
不知道有多少的人体验过depersonalization，我猜不多于百分之一。我有过并不止一次depersonalization的体验，看着自己动作，听着自己说话，试图理解他人的表情变化，看到一张桌子和一张椅子，还有周围的所有事物处于自己的位置。就是感觉不到现实，就像卡在虚幻和真实中间，既不像看电影那样完全置之事外，又不像正常人那样明确地感觉到自己在生活，就像是幽灵一样，存在而不存在。
所以，要让一个人像幽灵一样生活，想象一下其中的痛苦吧。
我猜，编剧哈里斯·古德伯格一定有过类似的经历，他想表现出这种病症给人带来的感觉和生活的变化，但是由于商业需要，加上了爱情的元素。尽管并不巧妙，我猜他也不希望这其中的爱情太巧妙。
作家绝对是精神病高危人群，这样说也可能完全因果颠倒了，因为我读到过一篇科学研究说癫痫能激发人写作的欲望，所以其实精神病人是作家的聚集区才更正确。无论如何，我相信一个没有精神病的人想要长时间写作几乎是不现实的，至少他要强迫自己进入一种精神病的状态才能够达到有效写作的目的。
总之，想要了解作家的世界，可以看看这部电影，它没有以极端的表现主义方式强迫观者理解这种脱离现实状态，而是非常非常柔和的叙述这样一个故事，仅仅为了让可以理解的人理解，不能理解的人略略感受。

这部电影大学时候看过，具体时间不记得了，只是记得是个假期，在家看的。那个时候正在迷FRIENDS，对主演之一的Matthew Perry很是感兴趣，对于片中他忽瘦忽胖的原因也略知一二。他出演这部电影的原因之一可能也是跟他的经历很相似吧。记得当时看的时候就被Sara和Hudson一前一后相互呼应的那段话感动了，好像还流了几滴感动的鳄鱼泪。这次看还是一样的感动，眼泪倒是忍住了，说明俺成长了，吼吼！其实FRIENDS一直也没看完，记得考研那阵看到了第八季，考研结束了以后也就没再接着看。其实像这么经典的电视剧，看几遍都能看进去，就跟刚来桂林那阵，想象着看FRIENDS学英语，把所有的台词打出来一句一句的弄不懂就不罢休，也就只坚持了一集就没了下文。还是我说过的，其实好多事只要坚持下来了都能成功，关键是我们都坚持不了多久。不过FRIENDS俺还没放弃，打算，恩，只是打算哈，放假回家再弄弄。

很喜欢这部电影，刚开始看感觉还有些排斥，
然而一分一秒过去，仿佛我就置身于他麻木的世界，
然后才发现了解，他，只是千千万万个人格麻木人群中的一员，
我，你，他，都处于这种麻木中。
寻求药物治疗，精神治疗，想摆脱这种麻木，
其实没有必要，连研究室的人都说了，就接受现实吧，
每个人都有麻木的盲点，
只不过在这部电影里，男主人公经历了太多生活上的起伏，
后来想想，每个人都一样。